NEW IN THEATERS
The Guardian
Kevin Costner is a grizzled Coast Guard trainer with a haunting mission in his past who must build up a troubled young man (Ashton Kutcher) who enlists. I'd rather eat broken glass than see this dog, so let's all think positive thoughts about how great Costner was in "Bull Durham." See? I feel better already.
Rated PG-13
School for Scoundrels
From this month's issue of Esquire: "Bad Trend: Movies that show off Jon Heder's acting chops."
Yes, dear readers, Mr. Napoleon Dynamite can't act his way out of a paper bag, but what might save this is Billy Bob Thornton's turn as the director of a confidence-building seminar who turns out to be quite the devil. Why on earth is this thing rated PG-13?
Rated PG-13
Open Season
A fun-loving grizzly bear (voice of Martin Lawrence) finds himself alone in the woods on the eve of bear season. A bunch of new friends (Ashton Kutcher, Gary Sinese, Debra Messing) help him avoid and flummox the hunters in this animated feature.
Rated PG
NEW ON DVD
The Lake House
Keanu Reeves, another poor fellow who can't act, is a doctor who begins exchanging mushy love letters with the new resident (Sandra Bullock) of the lake house he used to own. I will not spoil the remainder of the story — it's not half bad, actually — save the fact that yes, gentlemen, this thing has chick flick written all over it (Warner, $29.98).
Grade: B
The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
A troubled young man (Lucas Black, whoever the hell he is) is sent to live with his father in Tokyo after crashing his car in an illegal street race. Once there, he gets into even more illegal street racing that requires him to get involved in "underground" street racing to pay off a debt to the Japanese mafia.
Just like in real life (Universal, $29.98).
Grade: D
GO
Generalinfo
